John 8:34-36

34 Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave to sin. 35 Now a slave has no permanent place in the family, but a son belongs to it forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.

Once upon a time in a land far, far away, there was a group of people called Laconians. The Laconians looked and acted much like your everyday human being. They had families and homes. Some commuted a long way to work. They enjoyed malls and parks and food and athletics pretty much as we do. But there was one thing different about the Laconians. Connected to their ankle, every Laconian had a metal brace. Connected to that metal brace was a thick metal chain. And, connected to that thick metal chain was a ball—like those worn by chain gangs you’ve seen in old movies. Every Laconian wore their own personal ball and chain all the time. And what was interesting about this was they didn’t even realize it was an odd thing. They would play sports and run as if they didn’t have anything attached to their ankles. Of course they didn’t run very well and their soccer skills were ludicrous. But they made the attempt anyway. They did avoid swimming and water-skiing for obvious reasons, but they didn’t miss these activities. For them it was normal not to do things like this.

One day, the hero of our story----we’ll call him Timmy----went for a hike in the mountains. As he was struggling up some rocks, his chain caught on a stone outcropping and broke. Timmy looked at his foot STUNNED! He had never been without the ball and chain before! He carefully climbed down to a level area, put out his newly-freed foot, shook it a little, watching it carefully to see what it would do, and took a step. He almost fell over. His foot was too light and he wasn’t used to walking without that heavy metal ball to anchor him down. But he tried a few more steps and began to really enjoy his newfound freedom! Then he heard a twig snap and he looked around nervously to see if anyone was watching. Not hearing or seeing anything, he hastily put the chain back on and returned to town, thinking all the way of what had just happened to him. One day he returned to a meadow in the hills behind his house and took the chain off again. This time he left it off for a long time, learning to walk like no one else in Laconia had ever walked before. He was free of the useless weight, free of the burden everyone else carried! Still, he told no one. Everyday after school he went to the meadow and learned to do things that the Laconians had never been able to do like hop and jump and run and swim and skip and climb trees.

He was light. He was air. He was FREE! But no one else in Laconia knew. Finally, he resolved to share his discovery with all of Laconia. So, one day, in the midst of a big town gathering, he walked down Main Street with the ball under his arm. The people stopped and stared. They laughed and pointed at the strange sight. Even his family was embarrassed. They told him to put that ball and chain back on and never to change it—to get it welded together and be one of them again. They said, "Timmy, the family that wears chains together is the family that remains together."

Well, Timmy decided right then and there that he would never stay in the land of Laconia. So he packed all of his belongings--except for the ball and the chain--and moved to a distant land. And there, as the story goes, he lived happily ever after.

I love this story because I think it has a lot to say to people like you and me. You see, often, like the Laconians, we go through life dragging around our own little "ball and chain"... not a real one, of course, but one that can be just as restraining and confining. And what’s so tragic is that we are just as used to it as the Laconians were. We almost consider it normal--the way it’s supposed to be. And on July 4 when we celebrate freedom, I want us to learn how we can break our chains and be as free as Tommy became.

Now you may be wondering what I’m referring to -- after all, we are "free" here in the United States of America. We have freedom of assembly, freedom of religion, freedom to bear arms, basically to do whatever we want as long as it does not infringe on the freedoms of others. But you see, whereas we are free in these areas, there is another area that we may NOT be free. The "ball and chain" I am speaking of is the opinions of other people. This may not seem like such a hindrance to you, but I think all people at some time in their lives are slaves to the judgments of others, and many people are never free of this burden.

John Ortberg, one of the teaching pastors at Willow Creek Community Church, refers to this burden as "approval addiction". This addiction takes many forms, and I have seen people of all ages suffering from it. Let me list some of the symptoms of approval addiction. As I do, perhaps you’ll begin to see the ball and chain around your own ankle. If you are hurt deeply when people express anything less than glowing opinions about your accomplishments, then you are probably dragging around the burden of approval addiction. If you constantly think that other people devalue you because you are overweight or underweight then you are dragging around a weight that you don’t have to. If you feel that in order to prove your own worth, you have to degrade another person, if you constantly live with the nagging sense that you aren’t important enough or special enough or if you get envious of others who get the spotlight more than you do, you probably are an approval addict. And, if you worry that someone might think you are an approval addict, then you probably are one.

Approval addicts are not free, because they are always at the mercy of other peoples’ opinions. Even ministers have been known to drag this ball and chain around. An old preacher once wrote, "I was leaving my last church and a woman at the farewell reception was weeping. "Don’t be sad,’ I said, "I’m sure the next pastor will be better than me.’ "That’s what they said last time,’ she cried, "but they keep getting worse.’"

When we are enslaved by this addiction, we confuse our performance with our worth as a person. We are like Sally Fields at the academy awards when she won her second Oscar and then responded by saying, "You like me! You like me!" Like Ms. Fields, many of us think we are good people only if we think other people think we are good people. Sociologist George Herbert Mead described this ball and chain that so many of us drag through life as "the generalized other." The "generalized other" refers to the people in whose judgment we measure personal success or failure. Think of them as our own personal "Siskels and Eberts" who we are constantly looking to for a thumbs up or a thumbs down on our life. These life critics include our parents, school teachers, neighbors, spouses, friends, bosses, co-workers, and any other people we deem significant. We see our lives through their eyes. We are never really free because we never take a step without wondering what our Siskell and Ebert will think or say.

Another characteristic of people who are approval addicts is that they are constantly comparing themselves to their peers. As kids we did this. Do you remember the awkward times in the school year when report cards came out? You could always tell who got good grades because they were the ones running around showing off their report cards. They felt good about themselves and were always looking for someone whose report card had less "A’s" on it so the comparison would make them feel even better about themselves. Adults behave the same way about their academic prowess.

How many of you have ever used the phrase, "I hardly studied for this test" as the professor was passing out recently graded exam papers? We say this because we want to make sure that others know that a potential bad grade on a test is no reflection on our intelligence. How many of you have ever talked to someone about a TV program you watched and prefaced your comments with, "I don’t watch TOO MUCH TV, but the other night I saw this show...." We say this because we are afraid of people thinking all we do is sit around watching TV and eating Oreos. And if people thought that it would be unbearable for us.

I used to hate going to Pastors Conferences because inevitably they would divide us into small groups of ministers so that we could meet each other, and when this happened our conversation would always turn into competitive comparisons. One minister would say, "How large is your church?" If my answer was more than his group he wouldn’t talk much to me the rest of the week. If his group was bigger than mine, then I would spend the rest of the day wondering why I wasn’t successful in teen ministry. I suppose when I go to conferences focusing on pastoral ministry I’ll hear questions like, "How many people did you baptize this year?" "How big is your children church?"

All of us reveal our ball and chain when we compare ourselves to others. We compare houses or jobs or vacation plans or the accomplishment of our kids or our success at work. I remember talking to a church member once who was under constant stress. He was always comparing himself to his co-workers because he felt that if he didn’t out-perform them in research, development and sales, he would lose his job and not be able to take care of his family. This man was enormously talented and successful, but his ball and chain blinded him to that fact. His example shows that we can become so enslaved to the opinions of others that even when we do accomplish great things we still feel like a failure.

Well, wouldn’t it be great if there were some way that we could make our own declaration of independence and in so doing free ourselves from this addiction to the approval of others?

Think about it. Imagine being able to consider the criticism of others as a small thing. Imagine being liberated from the need to impress people. Think how truly free we could feel if our sense of self-esteem no longer rested on whether someone noticed how smart, attractive, or successful we are. Imagine being able to actually feel love toward someone who constantly disapproves of us. In our text for today, Jesus said that as Christians we can experience this freedom. How is this possible? How can we follow Timmy’s example and rip this ball and chain off our legs so that we can be FREE INDEED? This morning I want to suggest three things that I think will help. Think of them as three "chain breakers". 

1. "THE PRACTICE OF SECRECY"

This is a very simple thing in that it basically involves doing good for others without their knowing about it. This tactic helps us learn to do good without seeking the praise of other people. Jesus spoke of it in Matthew 6:1-4 when He said,

"Be careful not to do your "acts of righteousness’ before men, to be seen by them. If you do, you will have no reward from your Father in heaven. So when you do give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets, as the hypocrites do in the synagogues and on the streets, to be honored by men. I tell you the truth, they have received their reward in full. But when you give to the needy, do not let your left hand know what your right hand is doing, so that your giving may be in secret. Then your Father, who sees what is done in secret, will reward you."

In this text, Jesus is teaching us that true spiritual maturity is seen in the lives of people who play for an audience of One. They don’t seek the approval of others but that of their Heavenly Father.

They agree with the apostle Paul who wrote the Corinthians and said, "It is not the one who commends himself who is approved, but the one whom the Lord commends." And giving in secret helps reprogram our minds so that we think and react this way throughout our lives. I remember one of our children when he was learning to crawl. He applied his crawling expertise to some stairs. We of course watched him very closely as he did this, and one day when I got home from church I took over in this duty and noticed that he would pause as he climbed each step and look back to make sure I had witnessed his accomplishment. He wouldn’t climb any further until I would smile or clap my hands in praise of his feat. He climbed for this applause and stopped at each step to get some more. Now, it is normal for babies to do this. But when adults live for the praise of others, something is wrong.

And if you fall into that category, one way you can free yourself of this immaturity is by doing good deeds in a way that no one but God will ever notice. Try it. Every once in a while do something good and make sure no one finds out about it. Pick someone in your life and immerse that person in prayer and don’t tell anyone. Make a lavish donation to a charitable organization or send a sacrificial gift to a person in need and keep it anonymous. Live so deeply with a portion of Scripture that it becomes etched on your mind and heart and don’t tell anyone you have memorized it. Mow your neighbor’s lawn while they are gone on vacation. Wear a disguise so your other neighbors won’t recognize you.

Tony Campolo says that whenever he crosses a toll bridge in his home town of Philadelphia, he always pays for not only his car but for the car that follows, telling the toll clerk, "This is for my friend behind me." He always looks in his rearview mirror and enjoys the facial expression of the stranger in the car who is wondering, "Who did this thoughtful thing for me?" You see, giving in secrecy helps us to learn that it really IS better to give than to receive. It is more fun! So, get rid of your own ball and chain by thinking of yourself as "The Lone Ranger" secretly doing good deeds in Jesus’ name after which people are constantly saying... "Who was that masked man who did that wonderful thing for me?" Do good things.....great things....but do them in secret so that only God sees. When you do, I believe you will sense your chains beginning to fall away. This does not mean that we shouldn't be working as a group. We should. It is sad though, that there are people who will work only if they are seen.

A second thing that will break the chain and help free you from the opinions of others is to....

2. Remember that other people’s opinions can only enslave us if we let them. 

It is not the compliments that we get from other people that make us feel better about ourselves; rather is it our BELIEF that there is validity to their compliments. Burns writes,

"Suppose you were to visit the psychiatric ward of a hospital and a female patient were to approach you with this greeting, "You are wonderful. I had a vision from God. He told me the 13th person to walk through the door would be the special messenger. You are the 13th, so I know you are the chosen one...the holy one...the bringer of peace to the world; let me kiss your shoe.’"

If this happened to you in a psychiatric ward, your sense of self-esteem would probably not rise because you would not assess her opinion as being valid. You see, we are not the passive victims of other people’s opinions. Their opinions are powerless until we validate them. In Galatians 1:10 Paul writes, "Am I now seeking human approval or God’s approval? Am I trying to please people? If I were still pleasing people, I would not be a servant of Christ." Mature, free Christians don’t live to please people. They live to please God. They play for an audience of One, so they don’t care what others think unless they know God would care what they think, which leads us into the third thing we must know to break our chains of bondage to the opinions of others.... 

3. .....the only opinion about our lives that matters is God’s opinion

 Paul wrote about this in 1 Corinthians 4:3-4, when he said, "I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear, but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me." Note that Paul didn’t say the Corinthians’ criticism didn’t bother him. It still mattered what they thought, but it didn’t matter too much. He "cared very little." But their opinions weren’t a ball and chain around his leg.

His self-worth rested on his acceptance by a higher court. Paul knew that "it was the Lord" who judged his life. And you know, it makes sense to base our self-worth on God’s judgment because He made us.

You don’t have to travel around the world to discover that God loves variety. He made all shapes, sizes, colors, intensities. Did you know that God made over 300,000 species of beetles? Wouldn’t you call that creative overkill? I mean, couldn’t the world have been happy with just 50,000 species? Why did God create 300,000? Did you know that in one cubic foot of snow there are 18 million snowflakes and no two of them are alike? Now, nobody else is going to appreciate this but GOD, so He obviously loves variety in snowflakes and beetles and in people too.

Have you ever sat in a busy airport and watched the parade of peculiar people who walk by? People are unique physically. And, they are unique mentally and emotionally as well. Researchers have discovered that there are at least 18,000 different personality traits. The possible combinations of these various traits are limitless. All this is to say, you are unique. There is not another person in the world like you. There has never been and never will be. God did not create carbon copies. He only creates originals.

Why would God go to all that trouble? It would have been a lot easier to make only one kind of man and one kind of woman. But, He didn’t do that. He made every human unique because He wants you to know how special you are...how precious you----ONE OF A KIND – you are to Him.

Not only did God create you uniquely. He also custom-designed you for a specific purpose. And we find our freedom in life in fulfilling that purpose. Ephesians 2:10 says, "For we are GOD’S workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do." You are not here by accident. You are not just taking up space. God made you for a reason. God had a plan in your genetic codes. You are YOU because God wanted YOU to be YOU. So it is pointless to compare ourselves. God created each of us unique. But your value is not only seen in the unique way God created you. All of us people are like pieces of puzzles in God's Kingdom. We all have a space to fit in.

It is also seen in the fact that He claimed you as His own. 1 Corinthians 6:19 says, "You are not your own; you were bought with a price." We are not worthless; far from it! When sin entered the world, God paid the unbelievable price to get us back. If you and I can ever grasp the fact that we are worth so much to God that He was willing to pay the ultimate price, the death of His Son on the cross, in order to claim us as His own, then we will never again think of ourselves as worthless or unlovable. John 3:16 basically says, "God VALUED every single human being so highly that He gave His one and only Son to die on the cross so that whosoever believes in Him should not perish but have eternal life." When we know this then we are free from the approval of other people.

In our world, a person's worth is often determined by position, power or possessions. A person's value depends on age, appearance, race or religion. The value placed on an individual's life is often determined by what that person can do for us. And so if the people are not able to serve us, they become less valuable. AS a follower of Jesus Christ, I am called to live by a different set of standards. I am free from being bothered by how people measure me. When Jesus looked at people, he saw beyond what others were seeing. God said to Samuel, "The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." Jesus Christ put flesh on those words.

Listen to this: To Jesus there was no difference between the important people like Nicodemus, Jairus or the Roman centurion and people like Zaccheus (my kind of guy - short), Mary Magdalene or the woman by the well, or the lepers. Little children who are often seen by many people as bother or interruptions in the midst of important lives, were seen by Jesus as valuable. What could a thief dying on the cross do for Jesus at that time? Nothing. Yet even as Jesus was dying, he cared about a man who in the eyes of society was without value. The apostle Paul, writing to the Philippians, urged them to "do nothing out of selfish ambition.

You are special....all of you are...all of us are precious in God’s sight. And there is a great freeing power in this knowledge. When we know how priceless we are to God, the chains on our legs fall away. Would you like to become truly free today? You can! If you are not a Christian then we invite you to leave your bondage and come into the freedom and light of God’s love. And if you are here and you are a Christian but you have been living a life of addiction to the approval of others, then today I urge you to commit to live your life playing for an audience of One.