It’s not about rules—it’s about relationships

How would you describe a Christian?—is it someone who goes to church every week, who is honest, who doesn’t sleep around, doesn’t cheat on business deals, and is nice to everybody?

Those things are good.

But then we hear somebody say that Christianity isn’t about the things that we do – it’s about what Christ has done for us. We are saved by grace, not by our works, not by anything we do.

That’s right—but how do we put these two ideas together? Is our behavior important, or not?

The apostle Paul deals with this question in the book of Galatians. In the first part of this letter he says that we are saved by faith, not by keeping rules. But then in the last part of the letter he gives rules about what we ought to do and not do. And he says that people who break the rules won’t be in the kingdom of God.

So what is it? Do we need rules to be saved, or not?

Here’s a quick answer: We do not need rules in order to become a Christian, but we do need rules after we have become a Christian. The important thing is the function of the rules, and that’s something that Paul addresses in his letter to the Galatians.

Laws or rules cannot help us become a Christian, except in a negative sort of way. We all have an inbuilt sense of right and wrong, and we all realize that sometimes we do the wrong thing. The more rules we have, the more rules we fail to keep, and the rules can help us see that there is something fundamentally wrong with us, and we need to be saved not just from the wrong things that we do, but also from our tendency to do wrong things.

So rules can help us realize our need for a Savior, and Jesus is the one who saves us. The rules can’t save us, but they can help us realize that we need to be saved, and they can sometimes make us willing to accept salvation when it is offered. After all, we don’t want the lifeguard to rescue us unless we realize that we are in trouble. And rules can help us realize that we are in trouble. The rules say to breathe air and not water, and when we start breathing water and find out that it is not good for us, the rules can’t save us. The water is already in our lungs and the rules can’t do anything about it. We need somebody to haul us out of the water.

Well then, what about after we have accepted the salvation that Christ gives, and we have become a Christian? Why do we need rules after that? Well, one reason is that our inbuilt sense of right and wrong is .... sometimes wrong. We need to be educated in what is really right, and, even though good behavior can’t save us, it is still the right thing to do.

Even after the lifeguard saves us, it is still a good idea to breathe air and not water. Even though we know that the lifeguard will rescue us again if we get in trouble, it is still a good idea to breathe air and not water. The rule is good, even though it can’t save us. And you know, it might help a little if we got some lessons in swimming so that we would not get in trouble quite so often. And in those swimming lessons, we might be told a few additional rules, too. The rules are not there just to annoy us, or to restrict our freedom. They are not there just to see if we can keep a few rules. The rules are there to help us leam to swim, and the purpose of that is so that we breathe air and not water, and that we can live.

Now, that analogy isn’t perfect, but hopefully it does illustrate something about the way that rules can function in Christianity. They are there not just to see if we can keep rules—they are there to help us live more, and have less pain. If we break the rules, we will experience pain, or we’ll cause somebody else to experience pain. The rules tell us to breathe air and not water. We might not like the consequences of breathing water, but it doesn’t do any good to complain about the rule—it is just telling us what will happen when we break it. If we lie and cheat and steal, somebody is going to get hurt. It doesn’t do any good to complain about the consequences — our choice is whether we want the consequences of lying and cheating and stealing, or if we want the consequences of honesty. So God tells us, do this and not that, and you’ll be OK.

Well, human nature being what it is, we end up doing the things we aren’t supposed to do, and somebody gets hurt. And God says. That’s OK -1 forgive you. That doesn’t mean that it’s suddenly OK to lie and cheat and steal, but it means that he doesn’t hold it against us. His door is still open.

You see. God is in heaven: Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. And they have a wonderful life, with love for one another. They don’t lie to each other, cheat on each other, or steal from each other. They can trust each other perfectly. And they have a good life, and they want to share it with us. Here we are on earth, lying and cheating and stealing, having a miserable time, and God says to us: Hey, you want to have a life freed from all the pain caused by lying, cheating and stealing? I know you have already disqualified yourself from it, but hey, let’s forget the past, and you can have a life like we do in heaven.

And some people say. No thanks. I rather like the things that you call sin, that’s just part of my personality, and I’ll stay right where I am. Other people say, Thanks for the offer, but I can handle this myself. And other people say, Yes, I need to be rescued from this den of iniquity. And so God rescues them—or I should say “us.” And we enter the good life, the life of love and trust. We want a life that does not have the pain of lying, cheating and stealing. Now, even so, it turns out that we sometimes lie, cheat, or steal. And God says. Do you want a life that is free of lying, cheating and stealing, or not? You have disqualified yourself again, but I forgive you. Nevertheless, the question is still there: Do we want a life that is free of lying, cheating and stealing, or not? If we breathe water and have to be rescued, do we go right back to breathing water? Do we want to be rescued from this pain, or not? The rules are there to tell us how to avoid pain—they are guidelines to help us learn how to live the way God meant for us to live.

It all starts with God. The Bible says that God is love. Now, think about what God was like before he created the universe, before he created the angels, before he created anything at all. Now, how could he be love when there was no one to love? That’s why the Christian doctrine of the Trinity is important. It says that even within God, there is more than one person. When the Triune God is all by himself, he is not lonely. The Father loves the Son, and the Son loves the Holy Spirit, and the Holy Spirit loves the Father. The divine life is a life of love, and that is what God is inviting us to join. We were made in the image of God, so that we could live like he does, in love.

Now, as you know, all of us have fallen short of that goal. That’s where Jesus comes in. He says, “You people have made a real mess of things, haven’t you? I forgive you — I invite you to abandon that selfish way of life and join the way you were designed to live: the way of love, the life of the Father, Son, and Spirit. Now, your behavior has gotten you into this mess—it is not going to get you out. You cannot be saved by your works—you can be saved only by grace, and believe me, I have done everything that is necessary for you to start over.” So some people decide that they don’t want to be rescued, and some people decide that Jesus didn’t do enough to rescue them, and some people accept the offer, and that’s where we find ourselves today.

So God is a relational being. He is love, and that is a relationship characteristic. That’s the most important thing about God, and he wants to share that with us. He wants us to be relational beings, to give and receive love, and the instructions he gives us in the Bible are not about rules just to see if we can keep rules, and they aren’t means of earning our way into salvation—the rules are to help us in our relationships. Christianity is not about rules—it is about relationships.

Now, rules can help us in our relationships, but the rules are not there just for their own sake — they are there to serve us, to help us become better people, to help us have the life that God wants to give us. God tells us: All the pain in your life is caused by people living in a selfish way. I offer you a rescue out out of selfishness and the damage that selfishness does. But you aren’t going to experience the all the benefits of love at the same times as you keep acting selfishly. You can quit, or you can continue. If you want, I’ll help you quit.”

And along the way, God gives us guidance about the life that he is offering us—some behaviors fit into this pattern of life, and some don’t. Some behaviors help us, and some just cause more pain. And God tells us what those are. We might call them rules, or guidelines, or laws—but they are never the main point. Christianity is not about rules—it’s about relationships. It’s about a relationship within the Triune God, a relationship that he wants to share with us, and ifs about the relationships we have with one another. Relationships of love are the goal, and the rules serve that larger purpose.

OK, that’s enough of an introduction. Let’s turn to Galatians 5 and see what Paul said about it.

Briefly, here’s the context: The apostle Paul is writing to people who were being told that they need to keep the old covenant in order to be saved. And he says it’s not so—The old covenant can’t save anyone. Paul compares the old covenant to slavery, and Christ redeemed us, or bought us out of slavery. The old covenant put people in bondage to rules, and Christ frees us from that. Our relationship with God is not based on rules—it is based on his love and grace toward us. And that brings us to chapter 5, verse 1:

It is for freedom that Christ has set us free. Stand firm, then, and do not let yourselves be burdened again by a yoke of slavery.

Christ gives us freedom, he says, so don’t go backwards into a rule-based approach to religion. There was a time for that, but that time is now past, and we need to go forwards, not backwards. The old covenant demonstrated that rules don’t reform anyone. Now that this has been demonstrated, we don’t need that package anymore. If we place ourselves under an obsolete set of laws, then we are really slaves of our own superstition.

Verse 2: Mark my words! I, Paul, tell you that if you let yourselves be circumcised, Christ will be of no value to you at all.

If the people let themselves be circumcised, that was a sign that they were accepting the authority of the old covenant over them. They were putting themselves into slavery under an obsolete system, and they were acting as if Christ had done nothing for them — as if Jesus had not died and nothing had changed and the old covenant was still in force. In one sense, Christ was still of value to them. He had died for them. He had offered them his rescue. But in the eyes of the people, he was being perceived as of no value. The people were saying. No thanks—we don’t need a rescue. We think we’ll do well enough if we try to keep the law. Paul is saying. If you take that approach, you are not getting the benefits Christ is offering.

Verse 3: Again I declare to every man who lets himself be circumcised that he is obligated to obey the whole law.

And what’s the problem with that? The problem is that nobody can keep the whole law. The problem with rules is that they can tell us to stay out of trouble, but they cannot rescue us once we get into trouble—and eventually we -will get into trouble. We will fail to keep some law or another, and according to the law, we have a big penalty to pay—bigger than we can pay. We are going to need grace—the very thing that Christ is offering us right now. So that’s just a detour and a dead end. There’s no point in going back to the old covenant.

Let’s drop down to verse 6: For in Christ Jesus neither circumcision nor uncircumcision has any value. The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

In other words, ifs not about rules—ifs about relationships. A rule about circumcision doesn’t help us one way or another. Oh, it might have physical benefits one way or another, but spiritually, it makes no difference at all.

What really matters is relationships — the way that our faith in Christ is expressed in the way we treat other people.

Paul says it again in verse 13: You, my brothers, were called to be free. But do not use your freedom to indulge the sinful nature; rather, serve one another in love.

Yes, Christ has rescued us and set us free—but this does not mean that we are free to breathe water if we want to. It does not mean that we can act selfishly and still receive the benefits of loving others. It does not mean that we can lie, cheat and steal without hurting anybody. We are free from the old covenant, but that does not mean that we are free to be selfish. No, God has invited us to share his life of love, and the very nature of his gift means that we are to use it to serve one another in love.

Verse 14: The entire law is summed up in a single command: “Love your neighbor as yourself.”

The purpose of God’s law is fulfilled when we love one another. That’s what it’s all about. It’s about relationships, not rules. Paul did not mean that if we keep all the rules, then we will have love. What he meant is that if we love one another, then we will have fulfilled the purpose of all those rules.

Now, human nature being what it is, and our past experiences being what they are, we don’t always know the best way to go about loving others. So the Bible gives us some guidance, basically telling us not to lie, cheat and steal. We’ll see that really soon.

Verse 17: For the sinful nature desires what is contrary to the Spirit, and the Spirit what is contrary to the sinful nature. They are in conflict with each other, so that you do not do what you want.

We have a struggle on our hands. We see the need to live one way, and yet we end up doing something else instead—we do not do the good that we want to do. We end up trying to breathe water again, because we don’t know how to swim very well, and we get rescued time and time again. Thankfully, God never gets tired of rescuing us, and hopefully, we never decide to settle for breathing water. We want the new life that God is offering us, and not the old life we are supposed to leave behind.

So Paul tells us that there is a choice we need to make—each day, each hour, each interaction we have with other people. Are we led by the Holy Spirit, or are we led by our sinful nature?

And he says in verse 18 that if [we] are led by the Spirit, [then we] are not under law. Our relationship with God is based on the Spirit, not on the law. We are not under the authority or the penalty of the law.

However, that does not mean that we are free to do anything we want. Verses 19 to 21 make that very clear:

The acts of the sinful nature are obvious: sexual immorality, impurity and debauchery; idolatry and witchcraft; hatred, discord, jealousy, fits of rage, selfish ambition, dissensions, factions and envy; drunkenness, orgies, and the like. I warn you, as I did before, that those who live like this will not inherit the kingdom of God.

Well, what’s wrong with stuff like that? It is wrong not because Paul has a personal dislike for it—it is wrong because this is the sort of stuff that hurts people, that hurts relationships.

People who live like this are not accepting the kind of life that God is offering. He is not offering anyone an opportunity to lie, cheat and steal for all eternity. That would not be good either for us or for the people we are with. But the life he is offering is an eternity where we are freed from stuff like this—where we no longer have to fear people who have hatred, discord, jealousy and fits of rage. We are freed from their hatred, and they are freed from ours. They won’t harbor any envy against us, and we won’t have any against them. God is offering us a life that is freed from this stuff- he is not offering us the freedom to do this stuff. That would not be freedom at all—it would be a return to slavery. If we want a life free from hatred and envy, then we need to start eliminating hatred and envy in ourselves. We need to stop breathing water, and start breathing air. We can’t do this by ourselves, on our own strength. Relying on ourselves is what got us into this mess in the first place—but that’s a whole ’nother sermon.

The rules can’t save us, but they can help us. That’s because life is not about rules—it is about relationships. Take a look at the fruit of the Spirit in verses 22 and 23: But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

Why are these things good? Not because they are petty little rules or rituals that we have to do in order to get God to like us. No, they are simply descriptions of a good relationship. This is the life we have always wanted – it s the life God is offering us.