A Christmas play.

Anchor: Good morning, and welcome to the Bethlehem Network News. It has been an eventful day, and we have several great news stories going on at once. But don’t worry -- we have a great team of reporters and cameras that can keep us up to date, reporting the news even as it happens.

Let’s start with the international news, with a follow-up story on the tax census that the Romans required us to have. We go now to a story we videotaped late yesterday evening:

Scene change to reporter (with microphone in hand) standing in front of a door. Reporter is knocking vigorously on the door.

Innkeeper opens the door, saying: Who’s there?

Reporter 1: Hi, this is (reporter’s name) with the Bethlehem Network News. We’ve heard that this tax census is causing quite a problem for hotels such as yours.

Innkeeper: Why, certainly. This is the city of David, you know.

Reporter 1: Well, yes, of course. So what’s the problem?

Innkeeper: The Romans told everyone to go back to their city of birth to be counted, and it seems that practically everybody in Judea wants to be known as a descendant of David, so they want to be counted here whether they‘ve ever been here or not.

Reporter 1: And how is that a problem for you?

Innkeeper: Well, in one sense it’s no problem at all... There are lots of folks (rubbing hands in glee) who are willing to pay lots of money (ha ha ha) for a place to stay in Bethlehem -- and I’ve got the only hotel in town. It’s absolutely wonderful for business! The hotel is packed so tight I don’t have room for anyone else, no matter how much they’d pay!

Reporter 1: Well, so what’s the problem?

Innkeeper: It’s that all these folks want to live like kings. They are in there fighting, just like real kings, threatening to chop off people’s heads, and being a really big pain. (pausing thoughtfully) What we really need around here is a Messiah who would save us from all these wannabe kings!

Joseph enters from the side, looking very tired... Pardon me, excuse me, oh please ma’am, do you have any room at your inn? My wife is going into labor and we really, really need a room tonight...

(Shepherd 2 with shepherd’s staff quietly enters on other side.)

Innkeeper: No way, José. Our house is full of wealthy and important people. We don’t have space for a nobody -- ‘specially not you. My guests don’t want to be bothered with a woman having a baby...

Shepherd 2 on left side comments): And I thought it was getting cold out here -- brr (shiver) -- but it’s even colder in the heart of that greedy innkeeper. I’d rather sleep in the fields -- and stay away from the tax collectors! (laughing) Seems like we need a Messiah here to save us from our sinners. ... (leaves)

Reporter 1: Hey, innkeeper, have a heart! Don’t you have any place for a baby to be born? Some space out back, maybe? (gesturing toward audience) Don’t forget, you’re on network news... Can’t you think of someplace?

Innkeeper: (stammering) Well, uh, uh, we are awfully full inside, but maybe we could find some room outside. There is a shed out back with some animals in it. (aside, making a face): It smells a bit — but then, so do babies.) It would be private, at least, and the animals help keep it warm. I suppose you could stay back there.

Joseph: Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you! My wife is already in labor, so I must get her settled quickly (rushes off).

Reporter 1: (turning toward audience): Well, folks, there you have it in the top international story tonight. The Roman tax census is really making an impact on our local economy. The hotel is bursting at the seams, and the tax base is growing even as we stand here.

It’s too bad about the lady in labor, of course, but we’ll blame all that on the Romans, won’t we? What we really need is a king who isn’t like the Romans -- but there’s not much chance of that right now, is there?

Scene 2: Shepherds

Anchor: Thank you, (Reporter’s name), for that on-the-spot report. We turn now to some light-hearted local news. We learned this morning of some unusual happenings in the fields just south of Bethlehem. There were some shepherds, it seems, and they swear they weren’t drinking... We sent a team down there to get the scoop — so let’s turn to (Reporter’s name) to get the details on what they saw.

Reporter 2 : (with microphone, with three shepherds). (First, toward audience): Hello, (anchor’s name), and a warm welcome to our viewers. We’ve heard reports of some unidentified flying objects in the sheep-fields south of Bethlehem, and we are here with three shepherds who are willing to tell us what they saw.

Shep 1: Wow! I’m like, on TV! Well, anyways, it’s like the sky, was like, so bright, and it was shining so I, like thought it was a blue light special at Kmart and I started to like walk over cause like, I totally needed new shoes, and then an angel came, like shining, and like I thought it might melt my makeup and so he said that there was like a cute baby that we gotta go see, like he was really special or something, so I like quit worrying about my shoes— (the purpose of Shep1 is comic relief – to add variety, and keep audience interest in what may be an extremely familiar story. A different comic style, such as hippie, would also work.)

Reporter 2: You mean to say that you heard voices? Were these flashing lights trying to communicate something to you?

Shep 2: You better believe it, reporter. That angel showed up, and we all fell down in fright. You’d be scared, too. But the angel told us, "Don’t be afraid. I bring you good news of great joy for everyone. Today in Bethlehem is born a Savior -- the Messiah."

Reporter 2: You mean you saw a real alien, and it was saying real words? You were scared out of your wits but the alien said it had good news?

Shep 3: It wasn’t an alien — it was an angel. And there were bunches of them, all singing a song, praising God for this baby, saying we’d have peace, and God had favor on us.

Shep 1: Totally! The angel said that we like, would find a baby in a feed trough. I mean, how gross is that? That would definitely ruin my hair, I mean like, all that hay! But I guess that no baby would like, be born in a stable, like unless it was a sign from God!

Shep 2: So we are headed off to town to see if we can find this baby. (all three leave)

Reporter 2: (calling to them) So what about those aliens, guys? (but the shepherds run off, leaving the reporter speechless) (then laughing): Well, folks, who knows what you might see if you sleep in the fields! You might see something, like, (imitating the way Shep1 says "like") out of this world. Boy, isn’t that what we need! Somebody from heaven, come down to earth to fix this place. But we don’t need a feed trough -- we need somebody important! Back to you, (anchor’s name).

Scene 3: Mary and Joseph

Anchor: Thanks, (Reporter 2’s name) for that, "like", uh, interesting report. We’ll have the local astronomy society check it out. They’ve been talking about an unusual star for the past few weeks. They are having trouble locating it, though, because they say it seems to be moving. Maybe we’ll have a report on that later.

But we now turn to a story that will surely tug at your heart strings. One of our team of investigative reporters has been following a social worker all week, seeing just how bad the homeless situation is here in the promised land. Here we catch up with the story of the newest case -- a baby born to a homeless couple. This is just one more case that shows how badly we need some change around here. Let’s go to (Reporter 3’s name) for the details:

Reporter 3 (with microphone): We are here with a family that has traveled from Galilee down to Judea, and the woman has given birth even before they’ve found a home to stay in. Let’s pick up the story. Here’s the lady.... Excuse me, ma’am, I’m with the Bethlehem News Network. What is your name, and where are you from?

Mary (seated): My name is Miriam, and we come from Nazareth in Galilee.

Reporter 3: Pardon me for asking, but why did you travel down here when you were so pregnant? (The questions are meant to be inquisitive, not sarcastic.)

Mary: Well, I hadn’t planned on it, I can assure you of that. It all started about a year ago when an angel appeared to a priest in the temple.

Reporter 3: An angel? A priest? What’s all this got to do with you?

Mary: Well, that priest was married to my cousin Elizabeth, and the angel told him that he would have a child, even though he and 'Lizabeth were very old. He didn’t believe the angel at first, so the angel made him unable to say anything until the baby was born.

Reporter 3: So if he couldn’t say anything, how is it that you know so much about it?

Mary: Because the baby was born about three months ago, and after that he could talk. They called the baby John, because that’s what the angel told them to name it.

Reporter 3: OK, but what’s that got to do with you?

Mary: Well, about nine months ago an angel appeared to me, and the angel said, you are going to have a baby, a very important baby, and I said, No way. I’m not married yet and I’m not supposed to be having any babies yet.

Reporter 3: (with look of surprise) You said that to an angel? Did the angel zap you, or what?

Mary: Oh, no. I was respectful about it. I just didn’t want to do anything improper, you know. But the angel said this was what God wanted, and as evidence, the angel mentioned that my cousin was going to have a baby, too, and that’s the baby that I already told you about, the baby John. And I said, If that’s what God wants, then that’s what I want. (Meanwhile, Joseph enters and nods, but is silent.) The angel said my baby would be the son of God, and would sit on the throne of David!

Shep 1: (barging in from the side): Like, where’s the baby?! I definitely don’t see a baby here! The angel said there would be one! (rushes on past)

Mary (to reporter): Excuse me please, I had better check on the baby... I think I hear him crying... (leaves, walking not too quickly)

Shep 2 (rushing in with Shep 3): Hey, did you guys see a shepherd run through here? We’re trying to find a baby in a feed trough, and we heard there might be one back here... Uh, that sounds kind of weird, doesn’t it? We have to find a baby in a manger. Have you seen anything like that back here?

Shep 1: (from backstage): Hey, come here! I like, totally found the baby, and it’s not like gross or disgusting! It’s wrapped in like a clean cloth and there’s cute sheep and like weird chickens, and like, totally, the mother. Can I like please, like, hold the baby … as long as it doesn’t drool or ruin my hair or anything?

(Shep 2 and Shep 3 continue on to back stage, leaving Joseph and reporter)

Reporter 3: Hello. I’m (name of reporter) with the Bethlehem Network News and I was just talking to your lady friend about the baby. Who are you -- are you the father of the baby?

Joseph: My name is Joseph, and I am a carpenter from Nazareth, and I’m not really the father of the baby. The baby is the child of God, the child of the Holy Spirit. That’s what the angel told us.

Reporter 3: (shaking her head): Oh, no, not another angel... Look, Joseph, I’m finding all this a bit hard to believe. Nobody else in Judah has ever had a baby caused by the Holy Spirit. Why should anyone believe a story like that?

Joseph : Well, I didn’t believe it at first, either. When I found out Mary was going to have a baby, I about had a cow. I was going to call the marriage off, because this just wasn’t the proper thing to do, you know, to have a baby before you get married. So I was going to cancel everything, and then...

Reporter 3: And then she talked you into believing this story about an angel?

Joseph: Oh, no -- she didn’t convince me -- it was the angel. He appeared to me, too, and he told me: "Joseph, don’t be afraid. Mary will be a good wife. Take Mary home, because the baby has been caused by the Holy Spirit, and this baby is going to save everyone from their sins."

Reporter 3: Well, Joseph, that is all rather incredible! So why didn’t the angel give you a place to live? How did you come to be homeless here in Bethlehem?

Joseph: It’s because of this tax census the Romans called. I am a descendant of David and I have to come here to the city of David in order to be counted. We were hoping that the baby would be born first, but it wasn’t, and we had to come here at the last minute, and there was no room for us at the inn. We thank God that we were able to stay in the stable out back.

Reporter 3: Pardon me for asking, but if God was going to have a child, wouldn’t he pick a better place for the child to be born? A bit more comfortable, maybe, and a little less smell? A little more important, perhaps?

Joseph : Many people think so, I guess, but I know what the angel told me. He said, name the child Jesus, because he will save people from their sins --and it’s us poor people who know that we need a Savior. The rich people don’t think they need a Savior and wouldn’t recognize one even if they nailed up a sign over his head. (Pause) I think it’s very fitting that the Savior is coming to poor people like us.

Reporter 3: Well, thank you for your time. It is certainly interesting to hear different ideas... (Anchor’s name), back to you.

Scene 4: Wise Guys

Reporter in center stage with Wise 1 to left, Wise 2 left of Wise 1 and Wise 3 to Reporters right)

Anchor: Well, now we turn from the poor and nameless to the rich and famous. We go now to Jerusalem, to the court of His Majesty King Herod himself, where he is talking to some very interesting guests from east of the Empire. There seems to have been something unusual in the sky that brought them here.

Reporter 4: We are here in the court of our most wonderful king Herod, and unfortunately due to royal regulations we are not able to videotape the king himself, but he has been so kind as to give us permission to interview his distinguished guests: three wise men from the east.

Wise 1 (with finger in air, taking a deep breath): Unprecedented astronomical occurrences instigated our expedition into the Mediterranean dominions to investigate the sociopolitical ramifications of our observations.

Reporter 4: Pardon?

Wise 2: He meant, We saw a strange star in the sky and we came here to find out what it meant.

Reporter 4: Oh, why didn’t you say so? And what did you find out?

Wise 1: The portentous stellar prominence is associated with the conception and parturition of a unique irruption of the suprahuman into the tempo-spatial existence. An unprecedented sovereign of humanity in its entirety!

Reporter 4: (blank look)

Wise 3: Yes, a new king has been born. We came here to see if anybody here knew what was happening. Maybe there is some local wisdom that could help us. (Wise 4 arrives and stands on Wise 3’s right side)

Wise 2: So we came to your king — not that the king himself would know, of course, but there might be some wise people at the palace who would know.

Wise 4: Yes, and sure enough, there were scribes here who knew of some ancient writings that predicted the birth of a new king in the town of Bethlehem.

Wise 1: The word "Bethlehem" signifies the residence of nourishment, and by calculating the numeric equivalent of the Hebraic letters, we suspect that soon all transgression will be immediately rectified.

Wise 3 : Oh, never mind him. King Herod seemed quite happy to learn about this new king, and he encouraged us to go check it out and report back to him. But I’m not so sure about that -- kings usually aren’t too happy about other people being called king.

Reporter 4: Wait a minute. Aren’t there supposed to be three wise people from the east? Why are there four people here?

(Wise 2 looks at Wise 1, Wise 1 looks at Wise 3, Wise 3 looks at Wise 4, then 2, 3 & 4 point to Wise 1 and say) Wise 2,3 & 4 (motioning toward Wise 1): One guy’s in training.

Wise 2: He still hasn’t learned to use words that people understand.

Wise 3: Well, we’re off to see the... (as if he is going to sing "We’re off to see the wizard")

Wise 4: (loud whisper): SHH! The king of the Jews. We saw his star in the sky and we have come to worship him. We brought gold, frankincense, and myrrh –

Wise 2: Gold for royalty

Wise 3: Frankincense for worship

Wise 4: And myrrh for death

Reporter 4: And that’s the report from the capital city today. Some visitors from the east, some ancient wisdom from our own prophets, and some mysterious gifts from afar. Back to you, (anchor’s name).

Scene 5: Song

Anchor : Thank you, (name of reporter 4) , and we in Bethlehem look forward to the arrival of these travelers from the east. We’ll be sure to keep our viewers up to date. It’s been a long time since this much has happened in Bethlehem! We have time for one more report, this time in arts and entertainment. It seems that some traveling musicians are giving a free concert in the park this evening, and they are showcasing a number of new songs.

Group sings: "Joy to the World" (and/or others)

Anchor: That’s it for our morning news. We’ll continue to keep you up to date with the latest events as they unfold.

Cast

Scene 1

News anchor Kiki 
Innkeeper Tiffany 
Reporter Brigina 
Joseph David 
Shepherd 2 Brittany 

Scene 2

News Anchor Kiki 
Reporter Stephanie 
Shepherd 1 Melinda
Shepherd 2 Brittany 
Shepherd 3 Whitney
Shepherd 4 Tommy 

Scene 3

Anchor Kiki 
Susan Betsy
Mary Vi 
Shepherd 1 Melinda 
Shepherd 2 Brittany 
Shepherd 3 Whitney 
Joseph David

Scene 4

Anchor Kiki 
Sally Deanna 
Wise 1 Abel 
Wise 2 Steven 
Wise 3 Anthony 
Wise 4 John

Scene 5

Anchor Kiki 
Singers Stephanie, Tiffany, Brittany, Whitney and others on 3^rd verse